You’re watching a movie, and you have to undo a candy wrapper. If you can’t cover it with a jacket or something, just, for Pete’s sake, do it quickly. It is majorly irritating to have sometime take 47 seconds to slowly undo a piece of hard candy—and very distracting.

Cell Phones

Actually, you really should do what they tell you to—turn ‘em off. If you are expecting a really important call, put it on silent or vibrate and sit where you can leave the theater quickly to speak to someone. DO NOT carry on a conversation in the theater—I can’t believe people who do that. Do what they tell fighters in a bar—Take it outside! And if you get a text, don’t hold your phone up so that a third of the theater can see that you’re reading it. That takes all those people out of the movie experience, and that’s just something you don’t want to do. If it’s that important, get up and get out and read it. Or put a coat over your head, sit on the floor, and read it there. Quietly. Really.